- Pawel Janas
Note: The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the WUL.
The moral of the story this week: don’t rub anything unless you are absolutely certain it’s not a crotchety genie’s home.
After 300 days of offseason malaise, villain arcs, and players jumping ship, the WUL is back, baby! Finally, we've made it to Week 1 of the regular season. Four teams (Tempest, Super Bloom, Onyx, Sidewinders) are competing across four games in the Sidewinders Showdown, and the Falcons are taking on Astra in the beautiful “Pride of the Foothills,” Glendora, CA.
Since none of the experts know anything about Arizona (sorry, Nicole), we’ve brought in someone who does: Helen Eifert.
Helen Eifert (she/her) is a player and captain of the Arizona Sidewinders. She is a perpetual travel player in the USAU club division and has played for many teams across this country and internationally since 2016. Find her on Instagram (@heleneifert) and Twitter (@HelenEifert46).
I am really proud of the experts this week: all of the credible ones (sorry, Kenny) predicted a Seattle loss. As the resident Seattle hater, my heart is whole. Also, shout out to Helen for providing maximum spice and predicting flat tires and logistics nightmares. This is why we do what we do, folks.
Question for March 9th, 2023:
While walking across Death Valley to Sidewinders Showdown, you stumble across a lamp. Naturally, you rub it, and a crotchety old genie pops out: "I have been stuck in this sterile and cold piece of copper for two millennia. If you give me some spicy heat about Week 1, I shall grant you one wish. If you correctly predict an upset, I shall grant you another one. If you give an unhinged take about how the Falcons will beat Astra, I shall grant you a third." How many wishes are you getting?
ONE WISH
Kenny: My spicy take is that Arizona goes 0-2 on the weekend. Sadly, I have to give Arizona one of the worst off-season grades in the league. Losing Jade McLaughlin, Aubree Dietrich, and Liz Murphy to Colorado really hurts their chances. Oregon Onyx looks like a solid Championship Weekend potential team again this year, and there's no reason to think Seattle has become anything but better since last year. Sorry, Sidewinders. I hope you surprise me.
Ange: I'm getting two wishes out of this frisbee genie: one for a hot take and one for an upset. My hot take is this: obviously, I'm biased, but it's not fair that Super Bloom has cross-conference games with Seattle and Oregon (the top two teams in the Northwest Conference based on 2022 results). Super Bloom - the top team in the Southwest Conference based on 2022 results - should cross with the bottom two teams in the NW. Don't @ me. I don't care how exciting it is to have a finals rematch game to kick off the 2023 season (stomps feet).
Helen: Obviously, I’m going to be biased toward talking about the Sidewinders Showdown. This is the second time the Sidewinders have had the privilege of kicking off the WUL season with a big home weekend while the weather is still tolerable here in Arizona. This year it’s even spicier because it's a rematch of all the games at the 2022 Championship Weekend in reverse, starting with the championship matchup of San Diego vs. Seattle. It’s a bold start to the 2023 season, with an early chance to see how new rosters will influence last year’s results. With Seattle taking the 2022 trophy after an undefeated season, they’re coming in as the favorite for 2023. Seattle’s 2023 roster is sporting some serious turnover, albeit the new additions are names we know that aren’t unfamiliar to the Seattle ultimate scene. While Tempest is the most poised to build chemistry due to a fully Seattle-based roster and weekly practices, I think the integration of prominent new handlers, Cherry & Jezierski, provides an early season opening to upset this PNW powerhouse.
Pawel: Look, it’s not looking pretty. With gusts up to 20 mph predicted for Saturday afternoon/early evening in Mesa, I think games will come down to one or two upwind breaks. The winner in each game will score 15 or fewer points. There will be multiple 10-turnover points. At least one point with three total timeouts. I hope that warms you up, genie.
Nicole: (Editor’s note: she hands me her beer)
TWO WISH
(Editor’s note: I take her beer.)
Nicole: Alright, I'm going to keep this pretty simple: I think all the games are going to be upsets. Rather than calling it a "re-do of Championship Weekend," I'm calling the Sidewinders Showdown "the Revenge Tour." I would literally bet real money that Super Bloom and Onyx both take dubs over the teams that beat them at Champs weekend last May. I feel confident about both wins for many reasons, but mainly because nothing motivates a team more than losing. If you follow any of the Super Bloom or Onyx players on Twitter, you'd know they're in their villain era, and they're ready to blow things up.
But also, have you seen these rosters? Not only did Super Bloom add Dena Elimelech and Penny Wu to their already very long list of ballers (Kelli Iwamoto, Kaela Helton, Kristen Pojunis, the list is endless), but Seattle Tempest lost Qxhna Titcomb, who single-handedly dictated 90% of their offense last season. (Editor’s note: that's not a real stat, don't quote her.) I'm not saying Seattle won't still be a force, but... let's face it, these other teams know what they're up against this season, and they're not only prepared, they're hungry.
My final game predictions for all 5 games are as follows:
Tempest v Super Bloom: Super Bloom by 2
Onyx v Sidewinders: Onyx by 4
Falcons v Astra: Astra by 5
Tempest v Sidewinders: Tempest by 7
Onyx v Super Bloom: Super Bloom by 1 in double overtime (I have no basis for this prediction other than it would be a super exciting way to end the first weekend of the WUL season.)
If you're reading this and you're upset that I have your team losing, don't be mad. Just prove me wrong.
Kenny: Upset alert. I think the Onyx is coming for San Diego. It'll be a close game, and I can't wait to see Zajonc, Tajima, and Roberts face off against Pojunis, Elimelech, Jones, Salvacion, Helton--geez, maybe Onyx won't pull it off.
Ange: My upset prediction is that San Diego will beat Seattle in Game 1 of these NOT FAIR cross-conference games in Arizona. In the modified words of Nelly, here comes the Blooooom...
Helen: My upset prediction is that Seattle won’t leave the Showdown undefeated. Either the upgraded Super Bloom roster will catch them off guard fresh off the plane on Saturday, or the Sidewinders will take advantage of a tired Tempest on day two in what only Arizona will consider a mild heat.
Pawel: You know what I’m about to say. Tempest boards the plane on Sunday with two losses and zero wins. Professor Utonium, I am not. Sugar, spice, and everything not nice.
Three wish
Kenny: I wrote out arguments describing how the Falcons could take down Astra and ended up deleting them. I'll have to be content with two wishes. I think LA has this locked down. Not only do you have Goal leader Maggie O'Connor (editor’s note: see villain arc) coming back, but Jasmine Childress is a Round 1 draft pick if I've ever seen one. But even if Childress is on the bench for some weird reason, what makes me most confident in the Astra is the chemistry their new crop of players will have with one another from college and club going into game one of the season. Meanwhile, the Falcons are a brand new team this year - they had more roster movement in the offseason than a city league handler trying to get open for a dump. (A lot. I'm trying to say it was a lot of movement.) I don't think San Francisco has yet found the stars that will rally and unify their roster, and while they have potential this season, a game this early against such a cohesive Los Angeles has this Northern California/Southern California rivalry decided.
Helen: This game was THE GAME that famously determined the final team attending championship weekend last season, and it wasn’t either of the teams playing. For those who don’t remember obsessively refreshing Twitter on April 30, 2022, since it wasn’t a streamed game, the Falcons, Astra, and Sidewinders were poised for a 3-way tie at the end of the regular season with losing 2-4 records. Home-field advantage played a large role in the few wins each team took. As long as San Francisco won this last game at home, it would come down to point differential between the three teams’ results against each other. If the Falcons took the game by 8 points or more, they would go to the ’ship, 4 points or less and it was Astra’s, but anywhere between 5-7 and the Sidewinders, whose regular season ended a week prior, would swipe it. The final score was 13-7, Falcons. A point differential of 6 sent Arizona to championship weekend after they were sure their season was done. In a way, it’s sort of poetic that these two teams also play during this first weekend rematch of the 2022 championship games since they both missed qualifying last year by 2 points. This rematch takes place on Astra turf, which gives LA the home-field advantage this year. I think I would still predict the Falcons to win regardless, but if I had to come up with an unhinged way, it would happen like this: Astra’s stadium is double booked, and they have to relocate last minute, putting LA on their heels. Wilson & Weaver get flat tires and don’t make it until the second half. Falcons win by 8 on a Callahan.
Nicole: And while it's not a Champs weekend re-do, Astra is most definitely seeking revenge on the team that kept both their teams from Champs weekend. While there was a lot of turnover in the Falcons roster from last season, Astra is seeking to maintain a lot of the chemistry that was built while adding players like Jasmine Childress to the mix. Call me biased, but this one seems like a no-brainer to me.
Pawel: Yo, this genie is insane. Astra by a million, book it.
This Week’s Contributors:
Kenny Baldwin (he/him) is a contributing writer for the WUL and a broadcast commentator for the AUDL's Salt Lake Shred. Catch him on Twitter at @FlatballKenny.
Nicole Garnes (she/her) has played Ultimate frisbee since 2016, playing Club in both the Women's and Mixed Divisions in Arizona, and currently resides in Los Angeles, CA. Follow Nicole on Twitter @bring_snaaacks.
Pawel Janas (he/him) is the curator of West Perspective, so send your complaints his way. He plays for the Los Angeles Aviators in the AUDL and Chicago Machine in the USAU Men's Club Division. You can find him on Twitter and Instagram at @secondarypotato.
Angela Wells (she/her) is the head coach of San Diego Super Bloom and San Diego Wildfire. For nearly two decades, she has coached and played for women's teams in San Diego. She is unapologetically loud and bossy, and endlessly supportive of providing opportunities for female, trans, and non-binary athletes of all ages to play sports together in her community.
Helen Eifert (she/her) is a player and captain of the Arizona Sidewinders. She is a perpetual travel player in the USAU club division and has played for many teams across this country and internationally since 2016. Find her on Instagram (@heleneifert) and Twitter (@HelenEifert46).